A "Black Swan Event" is when the unexpected occurs, causing a huge mindshift and change in how the world works. People never imagined that Black Swans existed, until the discovery of the first Black Swan... (as per book "The Black Swan", by Nassim Nicholas Taleb, 2007, that sold over 3 million copies)

Is a perception change the next Black Swan Event? Consider that by changing perception we might change the world. Look at everyday things from different angles. Find beauty in the unexpected...
Change our thinking, change our actions, change our world!

See that all people are part of God's puzzle and have something to give. Black swans do exist. The ugly duckling was actually a swan who needed to discover himself and where he fitted and be who he was meant to be. To the last, the lost and the least, you are beautiful as you are.
May all who visit this page feel God's touch and experience His blessing...

Tuesday 31 January 2012

Prioritising Time In Changing Your Life's Direction

Do you want to change the path you have been following, change your life purpose? Some of you might want to do this and one critical resource that's needed is time. Where does our time go? What use are we making of our time? Are we heading towards where we want to go in life? Time is a finite resource that we must manage but often we are so busy surviving and doing that we may be unable to see a different way of doing things to shift our course and align ourselves with a new destiny. Plan the use of your time.

Monday 30 January 2012

Sermon On The Mount (Part 1)

I recently wrote a blog article called The power of one voice (part 1) : leaving a legacy about people who bless us with the gift of their legacy. It struck me that many people today might know who some famous historical people are, but not necessarily what they stand for or what they said in person. Take the sermon included in this article as an example; these are words transcribed when Jesus gave His Sermon on the Mount. The words are over 2000 years old yet most of Jesus' words ring with a truth that's still relevant in today's world. Jesus was an amazing teacher and speaker. I believe if we all take Jesus' teachings to heart we may change perception of what it means to truly accept all people and live in peace.

Sermon On The Mount
These are short paragraphs in my own words summarising the words that Jesus spoke, but I believe what Jesus said needs no translation as His words transcend centuries. I have included Jesus' words as taken from the Bible further down in this article too.

Sunday 29 January 2012

The Reflections We See Of Ourselves

What do you see when you look in the mirror? Take the quiet stranger I used to know. When I look at her I see someone who looks quite serious, unmoved by circumstance, aloof. I see a mask. It's hard to see to the person beyond. What I don't see is the edge of doubt fringing her mind. The pain etched in quiet corners of her heart. I don't see life's hurts that have been plastered atop each other forming internal barriers. I don't see the change in transition, the new person she is becoming.

Friday 27 January 2012

The Three Truths Principle

Jesus said, John 8:32 (KJV):
"And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free."

What We Believe Is Truth May Not Be So

Honouring Our Feelings

Paul said in Phillipians 4:8 (KJV): "Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. "

Key to our emotional well being are our feelings. Feelings are subjective as we each feel our emotional responses to situations differently. Our feelings are usually triggered by the thought patterns we hold of events and people and things around us, experienced through our perceptions, and because these are different for each of us we may each feel varying emotional responses to the same situation. The apostle Paul suggests we keep our minds on things that are true, just, pure, honest, good and virtuous and that deserve praise. By casting our thoughts on all that is good, we will influence our emotions positively for the better.

Tuesday 24 January 2012

Forgiveness

Jesus said in Luke 6:37 (KJV): "Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:"

Forgiveness is letting go of everything that has held you back in the past, whether this be an injustice, a hurt, a period of bullying or abuse. When we forgive someone for past wrongs, we allow old hurts to lose their grip on us. If we don't forgive, old anger or resentment may keep us captive and tied to the hurt, like an innocent dove enmeshed in fine strands of ribbon unable to truly fly free. Forgiving does not mean forgetting. You cannot forget a child you have lost or an action taken towards you, as these become your memories. Memories will remain, but emotional pain dulls over time until we remember just the event without raw pain. Forgiveness is setting yourself free of a burden, as well as setting the people being forgiven free of their burdens.

Misunderstandings

Have you ever experienced a misunderstanding? For example, you meet a potential employer for an interview about a new job. Near the end of the interview you say thank you for affording me this opportunity. She looks away quickly, down at her feet, then up again with a more terse expression on her face. You wonder what you said wrong, but you feel you'd rather not ask. In reply to your thank you message, you receive a message from the employer including a sharp point saying that you will not be reimbursed for meeting with her as you asked in the interview, that it was your obligation to get to the interview by your own means. Your first thought is what?! You wonder how you both walked away from the same conversation thinking totally different things. You don't remember most of the conversation now, all you know now is that somehow there was miscommunication. Then you remember using the word "affording"! When you said "affording" you had meant "giving me this opportunity", she heard "affording" and thought you expected her to pay for your costs to get to the interview. You both walked away thinking you had understood, and you both did not think to ask again about what actually happened. You send a friendly reply mentioning that you definitely understand that she is by no means obligated to pay for your costs and you apologise if that was the impression you gave. You later get the job. Only by chance were you able to resolve a misunderstanding, as many employers would not have been so forgiving. This was a real life example, details slightly changed to protect privacy, that happened to someone I know!
The above example illustrates that we can only fix something that we know about or that we suspect has happened. Don't ever assume someone knows something. If they are not fixing a problem, they probably don't know about it. An example would be the blind spots that we don't know about ourselves (see blog article: Blind spots and secrets). If someone is not telling me that something is wrong, I cannot own the problem or do something about it. I might suspect there's a problem and I can ask, but ultimately I need to put it out of sight and out of mind until I am told about it. In the end I hope "Truth Will Out" (Shakespeare, Merchant Of Venice).
Misunderstanding due to culture and behaviour traps
I spoke about culture and behaviour traps in blog article Avoiding snap judgements. If we understand the reason behind someone's behaviour, we may better avoid misunderstanding another's intentions. What might seem like suspect behaviour may become quite reasonable if we understand someone's personal or cultural background. A seemingly aggressive stare in constant eye contact for one person, may be a sign of respect to another.


In conclusion
How many feuds go on in silence for years because of something that could have been spoken about, a simple misunderstanding? Sometimes people avoid each other over generations. We don't always know when we have misunderstood someone, or when we are being misunderstood ourselves in turn. We can only be ourselves and honour our own integrity. Often we hear using our own perception of events and people. If there is a lack of trust, then we will mistrust much of what another says. What would you think when someone you do not trust, who always ignores you, walks up to you with a smile on his face one morning and says, “I’d like to meet later”? If someone is not giving you basic trust that you are working from the right motives, that is his trust issue, not your issue. If you do not trust others, then often you might be the one at fault. Ask someone if there is a problem if you suspect one. If you are told there are no problems, then accept that answer and move on. You can only fix what you know about.

People must earn trust, but do not start from a position of blatant mistrust, as a position of trust deficit will seem like an insurmountable mountain to climb. If you are mistrusted by someone without cause, you are likely to mistrust the person in turn, as that person cannot have your best interests at heart.

Above all, use ethical communication that is direct and to the point, and avoid hinting, as hinting can be misunderstood. Be responsible for your own integrity and allow others the same.

My book is free to view, see: 
Foundation Stone of Hope on issuu (screen read) (Other formats are available for purchase on Amazon.com. Also available for iPhone on the iBookstore:
Foundation Stone of Hope on iTunes)

Sunday 22 January 2012

Avoiding Snap Judgements

Jesus said, Matthew 7:1 (KJV): "Judge not, that ye be not judged."

People judge us constantly, and we judge others too. Sometimes judgement is good, often it is a negative appraisal. Judgement is often an almost unconscious process where we see someone, we come to a snap impression, and then react accordingly. We take in style of clothes, general looks and grooming, poise and confidence and decide whether or not the person is worthy of our further attention. Other people do the same to us. Sometimes we are left wondering why we are ignored when we know we have a lot to contribute if only we would be given the chance. Others will usually not say anything overtly bad to us, but somehow we pick up on vibes.

Thursday 19 January 2012

We Only Change When We Understand Why We Should

This blog contains many articles about ways to change ourselves personally: to change our thinking, to find our talents and our purpose. It strikes me that personal change only really happens when we want to change, and understand why we must change. If we always do things the same way we have always done them, and repeat the same patterns, we will keep getting the same results. It is not about trying harder and harder, it is about learning from mistakes, learning from feedback, and making adjustments and changing to get different results.

Monday 16 January 2012

Blind Spots and Secrets

Jesus said, Matthew 7:3 (World English Bible):
"3Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but don't consider the beam that is in your own eye? 4Or how will you tell your brother, 'Let me remove the speck from your eye;' and behold, the beam is in your own eye? 5You hypocrite! First remove the beam out of your own eye, and then you can see clearly to remove the speck out of your brother's eye."

Like the blind spot in a car's side mirrors, our blind spots may be a minefield and cause us to make huge mistakes or just not see things the way we should. I uncovered a few of my blind spots recently, things I was totally unaware of before, and now see some of my behaviour in a new way. Sometimes things that are our biggest strengths can actually also be our biggest weaknesses and translate into a huge blind spot. As Jesus said, it's often easier for us to see the faults of others than to see our own glaring faults, and these might even be bigger than the ones we are criticising in others. Our first point of change must always be with ourselves first.

Sunday 15 January 2012

Support Leaders

If we would suspend judgment and criticism of other people, perhaps we might accomplish more in many areas of life.

Have you experienced times when you’ve been unfairly criticised, perhaps where you might not have been able to get a job done because of criticism levelled against you, and each time you think you have made some progress, you are told to redo work? This is something that many leaders face daily. Leaders have a difficult task! It is much easier to give advice as an onlooker, than it is to be on the ground, living through an experience, and trying to get work done with opposition mounting. Leaders may experience great praise when a job goes well, but may be harshly criticised as the sole reason for failure when something goes wrong.

Identity: Be Who I Am

Stop for a moment and think about the successful people that you know. Think about people that other people love to love. Look around you at people you see when you are out and about, and see who stands out for you. What makes these people noticeable? What is that quality defined as charisma? Is it their inner poise and confidence? A sense of standing upright and proud, dignified, even somewhat aloof yet connected somehow? A friendly smile on their faces perhaps? A sense of purpose and knowing? Graciousness and a sense of caring thrumming through their souls?

Learning From Criticism

I hurriedly tap out the last few words of the article I'm writing, then read it through again and again until I am happy that it reads well. My heart is pounding, my fingers tremble with nervous anticipation. I quickly push the publish button, hold my breath, and nervously wait to see my writing appear on my blog. I sit back and give a contented sigh when I see the finished article on my screen and I think, wow, that flowed so well and I'm so happy! I am sure a few people will really enjoy reading this article! And then the first criticism hits. Not only does it seem no-one likes my article, they hate it! They don't agree with anything I'm saying! What good are words, you need action I am told! Thinking never got anyone anywhere! Someone else says I will keep bumping into a brick wall if I just write articles without asking anyone's opinion first. What was I thinking! Hmph, angry retorts well up inside me and it's difficult to keep tears from dripping. I bite down on my tongue. It feels like I implode mentally. What went wrong? Is it only me who sees the value of what I've written? If only I see the value, does it mean there is no value? What gaps am I missing? Should I rewrite the article again from scratch, would that make a difference?

Thursday 12 January 2012

When Fear Gets In The Way (Part 1)

Fear can cripple us. We see fear as something that's part of ourselves and who we are, but I believe the correct way to view this is to see many fears as based on fear of other people: what do other people think of us, or what will other people do to us. Imagine a world without fear of other people? How much more would we be able to just be ourselves. Sometimes our fears are groundless and come from our mindsets, from the things we learnt growing up. These are often a part of our very being as we adopted these fears into the groundwork of the identities we were building at the time. Fear seems like reality. Sometimes there may be real reasons to fear, for example in cases of religious persecution or bullying in a workplace. When we change the way we view fear, real change can happen.

Tuesday 10 January 2012

A Majority Vote Does Not Suit All Situations

Do you assume a majority decision must always be upheld as a measure of the right decision for all? I used to assume this, but then realised that a majority vote does  not cater for all situations and may not always be fair. Imagine if a jury vote was a majority vote instead of a vote where all must agree? I wrote recently how a single person on a jury may sometimes be the only person standing in the way of an unanimous guilty vote, and may actually have a valid argument for a person's innocence when everyone else has assumed that person's guilt. How many people would be sent innocently to be executed if not for the protective power of a total agreement vote? (See blog article "The Power Of One Voice (Part 2): Making A Stand For Justice In 12 Angry Men")

Saturday 7 January 2012

The Power Of One Voice (Part 2): 12 Angry Men

There can be no compromise where justice is concerned. A majority decision is not always the right answer. Think of a lone voice on a jury that may be the difference between a person being given the death penalty or being acquitted. This example plays out in a wonderful movie I saw once called "12 Angry Men". There are a few versions of this movie, and the one I like best is the remade for TV movie filmed in 1997 and starring Jack Lemmon.

Thursday 5 January 2012

The Power Of One Voice (Part 1): Leaving A Legacy

Can one person make a difference to the world? There are many people who have left a huge mark on the world, crafting new directions and bringing hope. The legacy that these people leave behind is a gift to mankind, a way to learn important lessons from someone long after they have passed away. These are amazing examples of people whose legacy endures still and will endure forever. And too there are many people today who are currently in the process of crafting new paradigms that will change our future world someday. Know that some of us may make small contributions, some large, but in the eyes of God all are equal and each gift helps to make the world a better place in some way.