A "Black Swan Event" is when the unexpected occurs, causing a huge mindshift and change in how the world works. People never imagined that Black Swans existed, until the discovery of the first Black Swan... (as per book "The Black Swan", by Nassim Nicholas Taleb, 2007, that sold over 3 million copies)

Is a perception change the next Black Swan Event? Consider that by changing perception we might change the world. Look at everyday things from different angles. Find beauty in the unexpected...
Change our thinking, change our actions, change our world!

See that all people are part of God's puzzle and have something to give. Black swans do exist. The ugly duckling was actually a swan who needed to discover himself and where he fitted and be who he was meant to be. To the last, the lost and the least, you are beautiful as you are.
May all who visit this page feel God's touch and experience His blessing...

Sunday 28 July 2013

What Others May Say

How often are we influenced by what others may say, be this the media or the opinions of other people?

I happened upon a website slamming a church I had thoughts of attending. I read the comments on the website aghast--so many people uniting together to warn people away, each one telling a personal tale of bad experiences. Yet, when I read some of the stories I thought, most of these deal with insinuations only, or interpretations of specific Pastor's sermons which I thought seemed to have been twisted. For example, someone would say, the church's financial fund is a problem, but there were no facts to back this up. I decided I would rather ignore what I read and decide for myself. But still, I find myself hearkening back to some of the words. I discovered that it is very difficult to ignore something one finds out about someone or an organisation, even if one might say one ignores gossip. Yet, are the statements truth or not? In the interim, I have discovered many other churches have websites warning against them.

I can say anything about anyone, especially if it's done in secret, and who can refute my allegations? Yet my words may spread and taint other people's views of the person or organisation. Perhaps what I have said has been in good faith, because I truly fear and wish to warn people away, or it could be said from an impure motive. This can happen to me too. It could happen to you.

Often there is an element of truth in what is said, for example, perhaps a person did have a bad experience with someone at the church mentioned previously, but it doesn't mean the entire church is like that. Or there could be a perception problem due to a cultural mismatch between both parties. When there are many saying the same thing, then one does need to be more aware that this might be truth and time will tell.

How does one deal with untrue allegations? Often there is not much one can do, besides to ignore what is being said and wait for truth to come to light. Sometimes you may not even know that allegations have been made, but you might see the symptoms of these in people's behaviour towards you. If you react badly to an untrue allegation, for example, by shouting that you are being bullied, then this might lend credence to the bully's allegations. I would suggest that if you suspect gossip, but don't know the content, then ignore this as you can only take action if you have something to take action against. If you do know what the content is, then perhaps a statement to the contrary might help, to say you deny what is being said. But don't act as if you are guilty, because people might think you are. In the church's case, I would recommend they post a statement saying that they refute the allegations and that they take exception to anonymous defamation, but then again, perhaps they don't want to give the website more visibility than it currently has by pointing this out.

Implicit Meaning Versus Explicit Statements

I have realised that people have a tendency to assume a question has been asked, or a request made, when often something has only been implied. This has implications particularly in bullying situations, because often we listen to the implied message, yet no real message has been explicitly stated, making it easy for us to be manipulated.

It is difficult for me to think of real world examples to illustrate what I mean, but a simple example might be, "If I were you I would leave here and not come back". The person who is one the receiving end of this might assume that he or she has been ordered to leave, especially if someone in authority says something like this, but this is only an implied statement. If the person saying this had said instead, "You must leave", then that would be an explicit order. But the initial statement carries an implied meaning only and is akin to manipulation. If you listen to a statement like this, and in this case do leave, then you make the other person's job easy, because the person can refute that he or she ever asked you specifically to leave and you are reading in meaning that was not explicitly stated.

Another simple example of this phenomenon might be if a friend says, "When are you going to that new coffee place that opened?" and you then assume you must invite the person to go for coffee with you to the place mentioned, and perhaps this is what the person might want you to do, but stop and ask yourself, have they actually asked that? Answer the question and do not read more than that into what is being asked. Wait for someone to ask directly, instead of making an assumption. Your assumption could be something the other person was fishing for, but you could also be off the mark and this could lead to embarrassment.

Reading into statements does have some advantages. If someone says, I have a family member who is ill, and then says lets gather together for prayer, the person likely would like prayer for his or her own family member. Try to ask to be sure. But don't blindly assume this is what was meant.

Open and clear communication is best, but make sure you enforce this too from your side, by listening for meaning.

Wednesday 17 July 2013

Being Told to Leave Because You Disrupt Team Dynamics

I have seen and experienced many a time that teams will kick out a person for causing waves because they say it keeps the peace. Sometimes the reason is because an ethical person is bullied by unethical team members and the person decides to push back, not allowing this to happen.

If you do this for a team without addressing underlying core issues, you are then stuck with some team members who are corrupt, and who might cause more problems for you later on.

What happens if these same unethical people begin to bite the hands that feed them, because they see this as a better option? Such people will go with the flow and keep the peace only when it suits them and they easily jump ship.

Rather, uncover the truth behind a situation. You may discover there is danger within and save your organisation from much distress later.

Tuesday 16 July 2013

The Danger of Stereotypes

Why do we continue to speak in stereotypes and fail to see individuals?

If we see people as individuals, we may realise that the children we see around us today are not the same people as in yesterday's history, as many of these children are just as much the victims of the actions of their ancestors. And we might realise that not all the people of history long past were bad people either, even if they looked the same as each other.

Adam and Eve and Types of People

I thought to myself this morning, it is totally believable that all types of people have a same common ancestor in Adam and Eve.

Just think of the example of dogs: All breeds of dogs originate from the same basic genetic pool, I have read. Put the different types of dogs next to each other, from a tiny Chihuahua all the way through to a Great Dane and many varieties in between--many different colours, long hairs, short hairs, hair-less, wrinkled dogs. The same is true for cows or sheep or rabbits and many animals that man owns. There is usually a common ancestor of all of these many different varieties of animals who are of so many different shades and sizes due to targeted breeding.

Do the same with different ethnic groups of people. The most differentiated we are from each other is skin colour, eye shape, hair, and sometimes body length (for example, think of the Maasai and the Pygmy peoples in Africa.

Suddenly people seem very much the same. The tower of Babel makes sense.

I hope no-one finds this offensive, I just sat here today and thought, wow, we are so alike, surely we can see ourselves as the same and learn to get along better.

Monday 15 July 2013

Heart's Destiny

It's never too late to start life anew...well, within reason of course.

My parents could not afford to send me to university or technikon after school, so I missed out on doing a job I had set my heart on since childhood. When I left school I was forced into working in a job where I hadn't planned to be, and I was always looking towards the future to when I could begin to study towards my dream. And then it was years later and I was still waiting and my heart changed and I never did follow my dream. But all the experience I have gained through the years has now helped me to write the book I am busy with. God restores.

My book may never be successful, but I am following my heart now. The only thing I should still do, is study how to write well, as I have never studied the art of writing!

Yet I wonder, if I pause to actually study the craft of writing, I might just never get this book written. Now that is irony.

Monday 8 July 2013

To Love and Spread Love


I once encountered a boy who had the brightest of smiles. His laugh was infectious. His eyes lit up. But he was paralysed by his exterior, chained in a body captive by cerebral palsy.
Cerebral Palsy presents differently in different people, and for this young lad, it meant he could not walk, or talk, or control his movements. He was totally dependent on those around him to supply all his needs, for example, he needed to be fed, bathed, clothed, and moved. Most strangers thought he was unintelligent, and spoke around him as if he did not exist. Imagine what it must be like for you to hear and understand everything being said around you, often decidedly negative comments, and to be unable to respond, unable to say something back in defence? To have no real voice of your own? To lie immobile while the hours tick past, day after day, week after week, year after year? To see your playmates grow up alongside you and see your potential self reflected in them? To be able to run in your imagination only? How significant was this child’s inner world to him: his imagination, his mind?
Yet this child wrote about his love for others, especially his family. He was filled with inner strength and love for God. He wrote about how grateful he was for what he had and said he could rise above any circumstance that came his way, and he said that you can too, we all can. Nothing is impossible, only our mindsets hold us back.

We Can All Learn From His Example


These are just a few of the life lessons that I believe honour this young man’s legacy:
  • Smile: This boy had a beautiful smile. I was captivated by his life force staring out through his smile.
  • Do not judge by the exterior: He was a boy with hopes and dreams just like other children.  He might have had a twisted body racked by pain, but he had dreams, and hopes, and wanted to run and play and free his mind, and what a brilliant mind he had.
  • Accept others for who they are: See past the outward behaviour and the exterior. This child accepted others, even those who ignored him. Some people saw him as worthless, but others who knew his heart and mind saw him as beautiful.
  • Everyone has something to give: For some, it is dancing. For others, it is writing. Each person has talents to use, that help make the world a better place. This lad wrote a book. He loved and spread love.
  • The value of a positive mindset: In spite of all the challenges he faced, he wrote about his inner peace and positive hope for the future. He made things happen in spite of adversity. Search for your own peace. Perhaps it is having faith in your own abilities and knowing you will be able to triumph in any circumstance that life throws at you?
  • Use your strengths: This young man had a brilliant mind, though his body kept him captive. He was empowered by his writing and his vision for others.
  • It is better to develop strengths than focus on weaknesses: Though he would never walk, he had an undiscovered talent in his mind, which he was able to free by writing, and when he was able to do this, hopes became realities.
  • Listen: Some people do not have a voice. Be sensitive to what people are saying, even if they cannot say it properly, or at all. Watch for hidden messages in body language. Look for pain when people are hiding behind their masks. See joy when passion is alight.
  • Happiness in acceptance: Throughout all of his experiences, he never complained, he accepted his life for what it was, and enjoyed his moments. He believed in God and praised Him for giving him life. He loved.
  • Your hurts can help others: This young man did not want his story to be repeated in other people’s lives unnecessarily and he took action through writing. He wanted to give hope and a voice to the voiceless. He dreamed of creating a better world for all. This child's life was tragically cut short before he became an adult, but his legacy lives on. Your own story has strength to help others. The hurdles you have overcome are a testimony to light the way for other people. I believe God can turn your obstacles into opportunities (see the chapter called “Love and Happiness”, the section called “Obstacles, Opportunities, and Managing Expectations”).
  • Everyone has purpose: You might see your purpose as small, but everyone adds something to this world. No matter what you do, see yourself as part of the big picture, moving towards a wonderful future vision, and the insignificant becomes significant.

Hope for All Who Have Dreams to Live


This young man’s story is about happiness in spite of circumstance. We can all learn from his life and wonder at his upbeat peaceful mindset. His personal tale shows his triumph over circumstance, and how mindsets and opportunity taken are some of the keys to happiness in life. You may not feel you are successful in life, and success means different things to different people, but you can find happiness in your own identity, and can make sure you honour your own purpose.
Let us look with fresh eyes at people who have physical or intellectual challenges, and allow them a chance to reveal their talents and purpose and to live their dreams. Allow this child’s legacy to live on in a message of hope for all. His story provides inspiration for all who still have dreams to live.

Sunday 7 July 2013

Acclaim May Be Separate From Worth

What defines worth? I see worth as the innate value of something or someone, be it realised value, or still to be realised value, which is potential.

Take the example of two music bands. Both may have been forged during childhood by a group of friends who started by thrashing out a few sounds together after school. They played together in garages and spare rooms and eventually progressed to the school stage. Each was ecstatic when they recorded their first demo CD and began to send these out to be noticed. One group found success with the first producer who listened to them and he gave them a recording contract. They recorded their first official CD and this played to worldwide acclaim and reached number one on music charts within a short space of time. The other group was ignored by people time after time. This music band did not ever get the break they were hoping for. Their best success was found in packed smoky pubs, playing to mesmerised audiences. They began to lose hope that their music was of value. How could they be worth much if no-one paid attention? Yet, unbeknownst to them, they had a unique sound and were incredibly talented. This band might potentially have been more successful than the first band if they had been given that same initial chance to be heard.

Do you judge your self-worth based on the opinions of other people? Just because you may be overlooked or ignored by one person, or even by many people, does not mean you are worth any less than someone else who has found acclaim. You may be worth more than you might ever dream possible. Look to God for the real measure of your worth. God loves everyone. Everyone has purpose.

Link to related blog article:
Sing, Sing a Song 

Note: Chapter two of my first book is changing slightly--it has always been focused on worth, but this was not explicitly stated and I am therefore making a few small changes to the book before rereleasing it, for example, my own personal testimony which was previously part of the chapter will be moving to the end of the book as an addendum.