A "Black Swan Event" is when the unexpected occurs, causing a huge mindshift and change in how the world works. People never imagined that Black Swans existed, until the discovery of the first Black Swan... (as per book "The Black Swan", by Nassim Nicholas Taleb, 2007, that sold over 3 million copies)

Is a perception change the next Black Swan Event? Consider that by changing perception we might change the world. Look at everyday things from different angles. Find beauty in the unexpected...
Change our thinking, change our actions, change our world!

See that all people are part of God's puzzle and have something to give. Black swans do exist. The ugly duckling was actually a swan who needed to discover himself and where he fitted and be who he was meant to be. To the last, the lost and the least, you are beautiful as you are.
May all who visit this page feel God's touch and experience His blessing...

Wednesday 26 March 2014

The Problem With Some Memories

A few studies done in the 1990s (Wikipedia article on memory implantation) demonstrate that it is possible to manufacture memories. People were shown fake photos of themselves as children riding in a hot air balloon or being lost in a mall, and they remembered the experience...
...but these were faked photos and the experiences never happened.

That said, I attended a workshop recently where a few people spoke of recovered memories. I do believe that flashbacks may be real and that memory may be suppressed and recovered, especially traumatic memories. At the same time, I am cognisant of how easy it is to falsify memories.

For your own safety, be aware if you are on the receiving end of well meaning, but misdirected, suggestive questioning about your past. And from the other point of view, in dealing with anyone, be they child or adult, make sure they are the ones doing the recovering of memories, and avoid helping them along, for example, "could this have happened to you...?" Don't show children photos to jog memories along, or suggest something with the use of aids, because you might be implanting memories instead of recovering memories.

Friday 21 March 2014

Are You Able To Say "No" to Manipulation?

I read an article yesterday called, Parents, It's Time to Let Your Daughter Say "No". In summary, a little girl is afraid to go on rides at a showground and her dad tries his best to entice her to go, but the mom pulls the dad aside and reminds him that, later on in life, their daughter will need to say "no" to other men who might want to date her, and she needs to be able to say "no" then. Powerful point.

Something similar I learnt as a child is how vital it is to say "no" to the approach of an abuser. Most often, an abuser will target a child who will easily comply with his or her requests. If I had complied with the approach of one particular teacher, who wanted me to leave a door open to him one night on a school tour, I can only imagine what might have happened. If a child firmly says "no" when approached as a target, the child will more than likely be protected--not always, but most often. Teach your child the importance of being able to say "no", especially if it's to what seems like gentle, friendly manipulation from an adult, commonly called grooming.

The best way to thwart any abuse is to ensure you don't allow it, and this applies as an adult too.

Tuesday 18 March 2014

Peeling Away Layers of Pain

A matroyshka doll is a series of wooden dolls that each hold a smaller doll within. This is a good analogy for healing the layers of pain that may surround people. Someone may desire to work on an obvious limiting pattern, for example, a reluctance to form attachments with others. Once this has been quantified and dealt with, a deeper pain may be exposed, and so on, sometimes all the way down to an inner originating trauma. It is only when one layer of defenses has been removed that the next more hidden layer can be healed. People may function quite well for much of their lives with a topmost mask in place, akin to a matroyshka doll, but when the mask is lifted, which may be purely by accident, deeper pain may surface. True healing comes when the originating cause is brought to light and healed. But it may be a difficult process that can take years. Do you have matroyshka dolls within yourself?

Tuesday 11 March 2014

Your Past Doesn't Define You

I recently wrote a blog post that I called, I Didn't Act Like a Victim: Key to Overcoming the Past. Following on from that, have you ever done or experienced something in the past that hurt you or that you are ashamed of or you feel guilty of? I am sure many of us have things we wish we could forget, but that may haunt us still. Some things are small, and we can brush these off, but there are some things that may be bigger, for example, if you were bullied in school, or even if you were the one doing the bullying. Perhaps these things feel like a huge part of you, as if you are carrying them around within your very being wherever you go. But, these things can be thrown off, as the unnecessary baggage that they are. I heard an excellent sermon in church on this subject recently too, that your past doesn't define your future. Declare to yourself that the things that still dog you are in the past. You can learn from the past, but your past isn't you and isn't your future. Forgive where necessary and move on, for your own peace of mind. There are many successful people who have left behind traumatic experiences, for example, Oprah. She knows the past happened and she has spoken about her past, but she doesn't let the past drag her down. She knows that her past doesn't define her future. Joyce Meyer is another example of someone who lived through an abusive childhood, yet she is now very successful and she uses the messages from her past to help others. The Bible tells us in many ways that the past is the past. Paul murdered many Christians, yet He transformed after an encounter with Jesus and he became one of the biggest evangelists for Christ. Stories such as this show that transformation is possible. Are you allowing your past to keep you from experiencing a better present and a better future?

Sunday 9 March 2014

I Didn't Act Like a Victim: Key to Overcoming the Past

I heard an excellent sermon in church yesterday. The Pastor showed us scenes of the January 2011 floods in Brisbane and how his house had been affected, and then he said something like, "People were surprised at how well I coped, because I didn't act like a flood victim." That statement stayed with me. What a powerful message. It resounded more so with me because earlier in the day someone invited me to join a support group because of a traumatic experience earlier in my life. But I'm over that, I thought. Well, in truth I may not be totally over the experience and I may have some work to do still, but I don't feel support is currently applicable for me. Maybe it's also because I have never been one for group work. This all might change of course if I ever dig deeper into my past and uncover anything that still requires work and I may need support then. There is a time and a place for support groups, but the time for support was when I first began to feel aftereffects of the experience, and I have moved on. I feel as if I am now in overcomer mode.

The point I'm trying to make is, the more I mull over the problems of my past, the more the past has a hold on me. I need to move on so that the past doesn't affect my future. The more I say to myself, I have overcome and moved on, the more I feel I have. And I also have God to lean on now, and He helps me immensely.