A "Black Swan Event" is when the unexpected occurs, causing a huge mindshift and change in how the world works. People never imagined that Black Swans existed, until the discovery of the first Black Swan... (as per book "The Black Swan", by Nassim Nicholas Taleb, 2007, that sold over 3 million copies)

Is a perception change the next Black Swan Event? Consider that by changing perception we might change the world. Look at everyday things from different angles. Find beauty in the unexpected...
Change our thinking, change our actions, change our world!

See that all people are part of God's puzzle and have something to give. Black swans do exist. The ugly duckling was actually a swan who needed to discover himself and where he fitted and be who he was meant to be. To the last, the lost and the least, you are beautiful as you are.
May all who visit this page feel God's touch and experience His blessing...

Friday 25 April 2014

Jesus Asked His Followers to Help Others

The Sheep and the Goats

"But when the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the holy angels with him, then he will sit on the throne of his glory. Before him all the nations will be gathered, and he will separate them one from another, as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will set the sheep on his right hand, but the goats on the left.

Then the King will tell those on his right hand, 'Come, blessed of my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world; for I was hungry, and you gave me food to eat. I was thirsty, and you gave me drink. I was a stranger, and you took me in. I was naked, and you clothed me. I was sick, and you visited me. I was in prison, and you came to me.' "Then the righteous will answer him, saying, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry, and feed you; or thirsty, and give you a drink? When did we see you as a stranger, and take you in; or naked, and clothe you? When did we see you sick, or in prison, and come to you?' "The King will answer them, 'Most certainly I tell you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.'

Then he will say also to those on the left hand, 'Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire which is prepared for the devil and his angels; for I was hungry, and you didn't give me food to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave me no drink; I was a stranger, and you didn't take me in; naked, and you didn't clothe me; sick, and in prison, and you didn't visit me.' "Then they will also answer, saying, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry, or thirsty, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and didn't help you?' "Then he will answer them, saying, 'Most certainly I tell you, inasmuch as you didn't do it to one of the least of these, you didn't do it to me.' These will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life."

(Matthew 25: 31-46 WEB)

Monday 21 April 2014

Land Invasions Since the Time of Moses

The blog article that I wrote yesterday called Are You a Victim of Shame and Guilt? led me to the topic of invasion. Throughout history people have been invading and colonising different parts of the world. This is also recorded in the Bible when, thousands of years ago, Jewish people moved into the Promised Land and God said not to make treaties with anyone who lived there and not to intermarry because it would cause problems for them (Deuteronomy 7:2). Romans invaded large scale areas starting 200 years before Christ was born and this continued for hundreds of years afterwards and Saxons and other nations invaded England starting in the 400s, when the Roman Empire disintegrated. Genghis Khan united Mongol tribes in the 1100s and then began large scale invasions and massacres of China and Asia. Muslim conquests occurred in India between the 1200s and 1600s and Wikipedia says even earlier invasions occurred during the 8th century in Afghanistan and Pakistan. African tribes moved down from Northern Africa and colonised Southern Africa as early as 2000 years ago and Shaka Zulu is an example of a more recent military ruler who arose and united his people and ousted many other African tribes. Then British and Dutch settlers moved to South Africa and elsewhere between 400 and 200 years ago and this gave rise to colonialism. Isn't it fascinating how cycles repeat, sometimes under the disguise of new terms? The pattern I see is that groups of people may repeat cycles of hurt when given the opportunity, yet feel aggrieved when they are unseated in turn, though may also do the same if a future opportunity presents.

I lived much of my life feeling guilty because I was white and a colonialist, but firstly, I never asked to be born where I did, and secondly, I was never responsible for colonialism myself, because this happened hundreds of years before. This was truly a breakthrough for me when I realised I was allowing myself to be shamed into feeling guilty by what people around me said about me purely because of what I looked like, based only on a stereotype.

Are boundaries settled around the world or will another invasion occur sometime? Large scale movement of people still happens under the banner of legal and illegal migration and movement of asylum seekers, but in these cases it is normally an assimilation of people into an existing nation, instead of a separate invasion. Hopefully we can work out how to live together. Perhaps the more that people feel part of their nation, the more we become at one with one another.


Jesus said, "Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye." (Matthew 7:5 KJV)


Jesus  also said,  "Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth: But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also." (Matthew 5: 38-39 KJV)

Are You a Victim of Shame and Guilt?

Shame and guilt are powerful emotions that may cripple. They may also be used as weapons that enslave.

Consider the following examples:
  • A child is abused and harbours guilt at compliance with the abuser's demands and also feels immense shame at what happened. As an adult, the person is still in the grip of these emotions.
  • A child grew up alongside a more accomplished sibling and can't shake off a deep feeling of inferiority, and perhaps guilt that he or she could have tried harder.
  • A person is accused of a crime because of a stereotype, for example, you invaded our country, yet the person wasn't even born when the invasion occurred. The invasion happened and was wrong, but an individual born years later cannot be held accountable for the crime, for to do so would be to make an individual liable based purely on ethnicity. As an example, white South Africans are often blamed as a group for historical invasion, and people the world over echo the sentiment that they must go home, yet individuals alive today are descendants only of Dutch and British migrants, and Britain and other countries were in turn invaded by Romans and Saxons and other people, starting hundreds of years ago. History cannot be changed, we can only change the present and the future.

What labels do you wear that aren't your fault, yet you may carry? Identify these oppressive emotions and shrug them off. They don't belong to you.

Saturday 12 April 2014

Leadership / Life Skills: Conflict Management: The Relationship and The Issue

I've previously briefly mentioned how conflict management may be handled in diverse ways depending on one's culture and you can read the blog post here: Do You Know People You Run From? Is Change Possible? A Few Thoughts.... Conflict management skills are vital to ongoing relationships.

When I attended a training course on conflict management, I learnt there are two key aspects to conflict: the relationship and the issue. If conflict arises with a stranger whom you may never see again, it is much easier to say exactly what you feel for you know you may never see the person again. Or you may hope you never do. For example, if you buy an item of clothing and need to return it, you may become quite abrasive if a store person refuses to return your money. Your goal is to obtain what you paid for the item, and the relationship may be negligible because you see this as a once-off transaction. You may react in a hard and fast way if you experience resistance and you may demand your money back or you will take the matter further. Of course, mutual respect should always be a part of any relationship transaction, even if you don't have an ongoing relationship with someone. However, if conflict arises in your marriage, you are invested in the relationship and need to tread more carefully. The issue may take second place in preference to ensuring your relationship remains intact, depending how much the issue means to you. But sometimes the issue is of such great importance that this takes precedence. There are some hard conversations that need to take place, for example, if you feel your spouse is abusive, you may decide to push the issue even if it means a relationship breakdown.

I believe it is best to get conflict into the open, especially if you will have an ongoing relationship with someone, or it may fester. Sometimes one may be unaware there is unresolved conflict with another person, and if you suspect something seems to be bothering someone else, then ask, but if they say everything's okay, then leave it at that. You can only work on what you know about and you have asked so your conscience is clear.

To aid in conflict management, I see assertiveness as going hand in hand. Assertiveness is a healthy means of communicating and you can read a blog post I wrote on assertiveness here: Leadership / Life Skills: Assertiveness

Thursday 10 April 2014

Half-Brother? No, He's Your Brother

I've been wondering about the terms half-brother and half-sister I've often heard used. I've used these terms myself too with my own family. Why do we do this? In the Bible, Joseph refers to his eleven other brothers, though only Benjamin was a full brother with the same mother as Joseph. All of these twelve brothers had the same father.

From a legal point of view it seems to me that halves have just as much rights as full, which can seen in migration when they have as much right to migrate by virtue of family line. They are brothers and sisters in the eyes of the law.

I suppose people like to categorise differences explicitly. Some people may even use different parentage as an excuse to say, that person isn't really my brother or sister, but they are.

I realise I use this terminology in my fiction book and I need to change it now. I use the term step-brother, when this person is actually my protagonist's brother by virtue of adoption, and I must change all references to half-brother, to merely say brother.

Friday 4 April 2014

Only You Can Say Who You Are: Which Culture Do You Identify As?

Many groups and people are trying to save tribal rights of Bushmen in the Kalahari Game Reserve, Botswana, which I wholly support. Recently I discovered that some of the people asking to be allowed to live in the Kalahari Game Reserve seem at a glance to be culturally and even ethnically different from people I think of as Bushmen, because these people, who I thought were pastoralists, own livestock and ride horses and look very different to Bushmen. Bushmen are traditionally known as a people of very short stature, with an almost yellow skin that is very wrinkled, mongoloid eyes, and very curly black hair that is sparse. But I was told it doesn't matter if these people are originally Bushmen or not, they identify as Bushmen.

What a person looks like seems to be giving way in favour of culture, probably because, in this changed global world, people can belong to the same country and therefore the same culture irrespective of looks. In Australia, where I now live, it is disconcerting for me to hear some people use the term African only for certain darker coloured people, even if they are Australian citizens. Yet I assume that all people who come to Australia will embrace Australia's culture, even if this is done at the level of the next generation, or why else come to Australia. There is a song sung here at citizenship ceremonies called, "We Are One, But We Are Many", and personal culture differences are allowed, but there is one overriding Australian culture too that people embrace. African isn't a term used much in South Africa because there are so many different types of South Africans, though some people claim it. I am South African, but I am white. I am a citizen of Africa and therefore I am an African. I am an Australian too.

In Australia many documents and forms ask whether or not one identifies with particular groups of people. To adopt these cultures, the decision must be driven from the heart of a person who wants to embrace a wholly new culture and way of life. From what I have gleaned, it seems that people who have never traditionally been hunter/gatherer Bushmen are doing just this: they identify as Bushmen and in so doing they live with the Bushmen and obtain rights to use the land that's earmarked for the Bushmen, as well as rights to hunt for wild game. Essentially they have decided to embrace the Bushmen's culture. I found this a fascinating insight. Some other cultures have a slightly different protocol: to become Jewish, for example, one undergoes a strict conversion process in synagogue, though still, the conversion decision comes from the heart of the person who wants to identify as Jewish and to truly belong to the new community.

It seems to me, the decision to adopt a new culture, regardless of previous background, rests largely with an individual. Is my assumption correct? I would love to hear other people's thoughts.

Thursday 3 April 2014

Some People Sink and Some People Swim: Same Circumstances, Different Outcomes

Have you ever wondered, how do some people seem to have everything together, in spite of all they have been through? This is a topic on my heart, and can be seen as the main theme of my unpublished fiction book, about two sisters who both experience trauma, yet who follow widely divergent paths in their onward journeys through life. I've described is as: when you are thrown into a swirling sea, you either sink or you swim.

When trouble is experienced on an ongoing basis, for example as in the case of trauma, there are often general behavioural coping strategies survivors can be expected to take. But of course, these are expected patterns only, not definitive patterns. So, the same situation can affect two people quite differently and one person may experience a psychic collapse while another may be able to overcome the trauma and function quite well. One therefore cannot say one must expect a certain outcome after certain situations. If one person can successfully overcome a troubled past, so can another. And just because most people who have experienced a particular type of troubled life have difficulty functioning, doesn't mean you must too if you have experienced the same dynamics.

Joyce Meyer has openly spoken about her traumatic childhood, yet she is now very successful and uses her past pain in many of her sermons to show people she has overcome with God's help. Oprah Winfrey is another celebrity who has overcome a difficult life. If some people can shrug off a troubled past, so can you, if you have experienced past pain. I believe the real key to doing this is to think and write about your journey, and also to tell your story to people you trust well. Sometimes past pain is as a vast non-verbal vagueness, difficult to even quantify, let alone talk about, but when it's spoken of, the story becomes clearer, even understandable in time, and one may then be able to step back from the pain and see it for what it was. The past may have affected you, but doesn't have to affect your future.

Link to related blog article: Your Past Doesn't Define You