Don't wait until you are perfect to start taking action. Perfection means different things to different people, and perfection may never come. You can make a difference right now. Everyone has something to give. You can write through your tears, you can give a coin to charity, you can smile at the elderly person walking slowly along as you move on by. By helping others you will help heal yourself.
I believe the best way to move towards healing is by taking action. When I am thinking of someone else's pain, my own diminishes. This does not take away my own pain, but puts it to the back of my mind. It is still there, a small flame alight, but I am not feeding the fire with any fuel. The energy I have stored for it goes to someone else for a time. And when I hear another's story, I often find out I am not the only person who has experienced a situation. Others have also been teased, ignored, bullied, hurt by people all around us, or hurt by life. I still have hurts to heal, but I can move in spite of my hurts. The hurt we have experienced in life is an opportunity to make us stronger. And know it is okay to grieve, to feel, to be healed. Just because there are others that have experienced the same hurts does not lessen your pain. Don't pity yourself, but feel your pain to move through it.
Do you want to help others but sometimes find it difficult being accepted? Unmask yourself. You may find others do not know the real you. Maybe you don't know the real you! What are your strengths? What do you value? Why do you value those things? Tell the people around you things you are comfortable sharing about yourself. Tell only some things to those you trust. You decide what you share, when and to whom. If you are unsure of your identity, then learn to craft your personality, find out who you are. What are your passions? What did you love doing at school but never did because you listened to others telling you why it wouldn't work? Do you love waking up to dawn's first light, or do you love to sleep in until the last moment? What revitalises you? Painting, writing, photography, talking? Are you a public speaker too shy to say a word? What is stopping you! Why do some people wave their hands wildly about when dancing, whilst others seem to be tied to the floor and hardly move? Our mindsets are often the only things holding us back. Break the chains that bind you! You are of value and have something to give and contribute. Everyone has something to give to the world.
Revealing your values and identity can be a powerful tool. I once sat in a training group where we were given a topic we each had to make a statement about. For example "what do you think of the statement 'God helps those who help themselves'?". Each of us had a turn to state our opinion, and as each person spoke they revealed a bit about their belief system. Some opinions I agreed with, some I didn't, but interestingly enough often if someone had a strong opinion about something, I valued the opinion nonetheless. And that person grew in my estimation. It was that person's right to have their belief. Our belief system is our identity. Know what you stand for. And incidentally, the statement "God helps those who help themselves" is not found anywhere in the Bible! God instead gives grace that Christians believe is ""generous, free and totally unexpected and undeserved" (Wikipedia on grace and Christianity)
There are some people though where the hurt runs deep, especially those who have lived through traumatic experiences, where pain sometimes overwhelms you, the fire is out of control when hurts are exposed. I have no answer for these hurts, but I do know personally from my own hurts that it can get better. When healing starts, you may find you are able to work on surface hurts first, exposing them to the light and deadening these pains, and then work your way deeper until the deepest hurts are ready to be healed. This may be a very long process, especially where you have hidden your deepest hurts beneath masks, and sometimes even from yourself. It is like unwrapping the layers around an onion one by one, until you get to the core, the heart of the problems.
These verses from David echo what I am saying: Psalm 40 (World English Bible):
1I waited patiently for Yahweh.
He turned to me, and heard my cry.
2He brought me up also out of a horrible pit, out of the miry clay.
He set my feet on a rock, and gave me a firm place to stand.
3He has put a new song in my mouth, even praise to our God.
Many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in Yahweh.
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