Do You See What I See?: Repeating Patterns

I blogged recently (Outward Appearance Versus Ancestry in Determining Culture) about how in some cultures outward appearance seems to be the predominant factor in determining whether or not people are part of the group, and in other groups people may be accepted as part of the group on the basis of ancestry. What does this tell me? Well, if both of these means can be used to determine acceptance of individuals into a group, dependent on a group's culture and mindset, surely this shows that we can change mindsets and include all people as part a group without creating divisions into us and them mindsets? We can include people if they look like us, and we can include people who don't look like us, all we need is a reason to make the inclusion real. The main reason people exclude others is perhaps due to underlying fear of the threat the other people represent, and is so doing animosity spreads on both sides, as it is difficult to love those who openly hate and fear us, or even those who try to impose superiority over us.

As part of the article I mentioned the story of Sandra Laing, who was a coloured child born to white parents. It is a very sad story, especially as we hear her father effectively disowned her for running away with a black man and marrying him and having his children at the age of sixteen. You might probably put the reason for her father doing so purely down to racist motives. I am not so sure this is the case. Why, you ask? Well, my grandfather wrote in notes he left us that his own father disowned him, because he would not join the Freemasons, which apparently was expected in his family when a child turned a certain age. My grandfather said how could he join a group no-one would tell him about because it was secret! So he refused to join and his father never spoke to him again! That is how some fathers used to be in South Africa. It was not purely due to racist motives, it was cultural. In fact, as Sandra herself says, her father wanted her to marry a white man, so he wanted her to remain with the family, even though she looked non-white.

The end of the video, which I included as a link in the blog article, shows Sandra being comforted by non-white children at the school she used to attend. I notice that these children speak of the Afrikaans children, being white children. Many of their own families probably speak Afrikaans too as a home language, but perhaps they have decided not to learn the language and I seem to recall one of the children saying they prefer to be taught in English, and this language does not have negative associations. Afrikaans children: do you perhaps notice subtle us and them mindsets being displayed? Us and them mindsets on their own are perfectly fine, as people do categorise and we like to know who we are and how we belong. The problem really comes in when polarising occurs, and in the video I thought I heard one of the children say something to the effect of, never mind, we have the upper hand now. I thought, aha, as I jumped to my own assumptions, which were perhaps incorrect, I can see where this is going: the child is thinking, you whites controlled us during apartheid and now we will control you as we have the upper hand. Would anyone say this mindset is wrong? I see it as a natural result of apartheid, but, isn't it possible that the reverse can happen and whites will now be the target of racism and discrimination? Of course, especially as they are the minority! The country is said to be at stage six of white genocide by Genocide Watch, and stage seven is all out extermination! In Rwanda, a Tutsi minority used to run the government, then handed it over to democracy and the Hutu majority took over. Then in 1994, 100000 Tutsis were massacred in a genocide! A short while later the Tutsi minority took over government again! What if society had rather become inclusive when Hutus had come into power, wouldn't life in Rwanda have been much better for all! The only way to change and ensure the country does not go down the slippery slope of repeating patterns, is to change mindsets and to include everyone as part of one nation.

Sandra had a terrible life and experienced terrible trauma and I wish somehow her life could be lived over again. How different her life would have been if she had been born but thirty or forty years later.  Perhaps she might find some closure in knowing South Africa as a nation is very different now and her children will be fully accepted into society. I pray she finds healing.

Note: I used terms, white, coloured and black to denote different ethnic groups, as these are the terms used in South Africa to denote different types of people and are part of the Governments BEE classification system (unless this has been changed recently). I am told that in other countries some of these terms may seem offensive and please tell me if they are for you and what terms I should use instead. For example, I am not sure how to describe people if I cannot use these terms, as I cannot say Sandra ran away with an African man, as I am also African, yet I am white--I am certainly not European! (some of my ancestors were) I believe the names of continents and countries can no longer be used to identify people, like the word African, as the world is now a global village with many different types of people living in these countries--I certainly know from looking around South Africa, as well as Australia, that one cannot say what a person coming from these countries looks like before you meet them. In Australia there are people right across the colour spectrum, from Australia's own First People, the Aboriginal people, through to white people, through to people from China or India or Africa--it is becoming an increasingly varied, multiracial country, and this is the case with South Africa too, though the individual demographic numbers are different. People should be proud of the countries where they live in and be able to embrace all, for if they don't, division remains.