Breaking Patterns of Behaviour

I've been mulling over patterns of behaviour and how these originate and also how to break them. Even harder than breaking a pattern of behaviour, I feel, is recognising the pattern in the first instance. When something is so much a part of us, it's difficult to isolate. We see our actions as natural, something we do, and often aren't aware there is anything amiss. It is hard to see ourselves as other people see us, especially if there is lack of feedback.

An example might be someone who gets into trouble, or who is avoided, because of misplaced humour and making hurtful fun of others. There are some people where this is their normal style of communication and such a person will consider joking as natural as breathing, but for someone else who isn't used to joking as a means of expression, hearing this on an ongoing basis will seem uncomfortable. A person who finds fun in every situation may not even realise this isn't the norm for everyone. And if the person does realise that the humour is causing a problem for other people, the person may still fall back on the humour, even knowing this might land him or her in trouble. Sometimes people like to push other people's buttons. But yet, the humour may cause a real problem for such a person during everyday interactions, especially towards strangers, and it would be best to drop the pattern, but, it is exceedingly difficult to break a habit. Even when one knows the habit should be changed, actually doing so may take every ounce of self control.

Often we first need to understand why we need to change before we actually change our patterns of behaviour. This realisation may take a long time in coming. Sometimes it's only when our selves are threatened that we find the incentive to change. The person who jokes may only stop wisecracks if, for example, the person is told he or she may be fired from a job if the behaviour continues. Hopefully the person will experience a personal insight into the harm done by constantly poking fun at others and will drop the behaviour before this is necessary.