A "Black Swan Event" is when the unexpected occurs, causing a huge mindshift and change in how the world works. People never imagined that Black Swans existed, until the discovery of the first Black Swan... (as per book "The Black Swan", by Nassim Nicholas Taleb, 2007, that sold over 3 million copies)

Is a perception change the next Black Swan Event? Consider that by changing perception we might change the world. Look at everyday things from different angles. Find beauty in the unexpected...
Change our thinking, change our actions, change our world!

See that all people are part of God's puzzle and have something to give. Black swans do exist. The ugly duckling was actually a swan who needed to discover himself and where he fitted and be who he was meant to be. To the last, the lost and the least, you are beautiful as you are.
May all who visit this page feel God's touch and experience His blessing...

Wednesday 7 May 2014

Abusers and Bullies Lack Empathy For Their Targets

I once heard a Year One teacher accuse a child in her class of  making mistakes on purpose, however, I would be astonished if a six or seven year old child would ever deliberately cause mischief such as this, because a child at this level hasn't learnt the intricacies of such social dynamics. What would it profit a child to act stupid? The teacher didn't understand that the child was struggling to understand and needed help.

I have heard of paedophiles who say in their defense that the child agreed with their requests for sexual favours. The abuser seems to feel that the child understood what was being requested, as if the abusive adult is thus absolved from guilt because the child was a willing partner. Yet a child doesn't understand norms of behaviour as a grown woman does, and a child may agree because the child doesn't even know what he or she is agreeing to, or may not want to offend an adult, or may agree because the child has previously learnt to agree. Some grown woman may even have difficulty turning down persistent requests for sexual favours from an ardent follower, so how much more difficult would this be for a child to ward off?

A child has a mind very different from an adult and cannot be seen as a miniature adult, who knows intricate social dynamics. Yet many abusers seem to treat children as if they were adults, and children are often treated as far older than their years by many abusers.

Similar principles may apply to those who bully other adults too, because such bullies may lack compassion for their victims, or may assume a malevolent intention from another person when none was ever intended. Someone once told me that instead of being angry with someone who was bullying me, that I should have compassion for the bully instead. I never understood what he meant at the time, but I am beginning to understand that perhaps many bullies are the way they are because they have been hurt and somehow there is a breakdown in how they see the world.

I wonder, is it possible to reform many abusers, especially of children, and teach them what it means to see the world as a child does? If you are a parent, please try to teach your children the value of boundaries, to respect others' wishes, and to have empathy for others so that abuse will become less and less.

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