Some Thoughts on Finding Happiness

I posted this article in May on a different blog, in response to a forum discussion on the keys to happiness. This is a summary in a way of some of the content of my book:

Here are a few thoughts on ways to find happiness through the following concepts. I believe each person is different and we each need to come up with our own answers, and the real key is being who you are: (I've realised I need to exclude people in abject poverty from some of these thoughts, for example someone who may be experiencing starvation, as certain needs do need to be met)

• Acceptance of self and circumstance: if I have a big nose, if I am fat or unattractive, I must accept and come to love myself as I am. This is me. This is my body. This is how I look. And it's not about "there are people worse off than I am", it's about accepting me as "me", just as I am. The same applies to circumstance. If you are homeless, or poor, or rich, or hating your current job, that is your current circumstance: accept it. 
• Knowing and being yourself: What are your talents: what do you do that comes naturally to you? What have you always loved to do, that when you are doing it, it feels effortless? What dreams do you dream for the future?--often we leave our dreams behind in childhood, when everyone else tells us what we must think or do to be successful. What are your values--what is important to you--does honesty win over relationships, or will you be nice to someone no matter what? What is "you"? Are you serious, are you a thinker, are you a very sensitive person? Know what you stand for, what your beliefs are. And forget about what other people might think of me! Some will like me, some will not--find the ones who like me for who I am.
• Belief in yourself: You can do anything you set out to do. Use your strengths, know and understand your weaknesses. Confidence comes from doing the things you are competent doing.
• Following your purpose and dreams: Purpose is what your calling is in life (from a Christian perspective), and I believe comes when you use the talents you have that you have always loved to use. It's when you realise you do not believe in the job you are doing as it's meaningless for you (maybe perfect for others), and you realise you have always wanted to help children learn, and you decide you want to be a teacher instead of a corporate manager, and you start setting out on that journey.
• Trust that you will triumph over any circumstance: It might takes years and doors might seem closed wherever you go, but keep knocking and you will find the right door. If doors are always closed it's because you have not found the right door that's perfect for you yet. Change takes time, and you cannot just change a job and circumstances and beliefs overnight, but take small steps and you will get there.
• Being in the present, hope for the future, integrating and relinquishing the past: Guess this is easier said than done, but try to enjoy your current job, or make the best of a run down house. See through the eyes of "now". I used to yearn for a distant something, but life was happening all around me. The future will come, but don't miss the present: for example the chance for connections with people around you. Hope for the future is something along what I wrote about triumph over any circumstance. The past: the past holds many hurts for many people. Accept the past as something that happened, and forgive. Forgive sets you free from bondage, from the emotional hold something has over you. Forgiveness does not make hurts right, but it frees you from being caught and held back. The past is part of you, and you will be a different person because of the past: the good and the bad past. Often past hurts give you a vigour to ensure the same hurts do not happen to others, and you will be able to use this knowledge in some way. Some people lose loved ones to cancer, and become campaigners for cancer awareness. There is a lesson to be learnt from each life. Everyone has purpose.
• Managing expectations: Don't take things for granted. You might not get what someone has promised you. People might let you down. Jesus said "in this world you will have trouble, but take heart, I have overcome the world!"
• Delighting in the simple things of life: If you have no lunch and someone gives you an apple, be grateful for what you have, not in what you don't have. Delight in a sunrise, in the smile your daughter gives you before bedtime, in your morning coffee...