When Your Sense of Identity is Firm, There Is No Need to Argue

I went on a school excursion recently, and somehow got onto the subject of Christianity, when one of the moms said she belongs to a particular Christian denomination. So I asked her what she believes, and then I said, oh, I think that's the same as what I believe, we use different words--please read my book and tell me what you think. She then mentioned a few points that might be different to what I believe, or that I have been told by others, but I was able to leave the subject and go away and ponder some more. Another parent overheard us talking, and I thought I saw him start squirming, and he hurriedly left. That might have been me before, as I realised recently that I have made a huge jump: from being a Christian who wasn't too sure about God, and who almost embarrassedly acknowledged my belief, yet still harboured doubts, to someone who has no qualms talking about God, and who trusts fully in Him. I speak about God as I may speak about the weather, in a factual type of way with no thought that I may be touching on a sensitive topic.

Firstly, I now know what I believe, and I am not threatened by someone else believing something else, as I can now say I will ponder over that thought, and not disagree outright, or I may say I disagree, but not need to argue the point. Secondly, I have discovered that often there is truth in a vastly opposing statement. If someone tells me they do not believe in God, for example, I can understand this (especially as I was there once). I may not believe the statement is true, as I believe God exists, as He is real to me, but I try to see the point of view from that person's angle, and I learn from it. When I turn something around and see it from the other person's point of view, it makes sense, and becomes a point of reflection. And, thirdly, unless one has travelled the other person's journey, one cannot know what they have experienced, and therefore trust that what they say is true, is true for them. I used to marvel at people in church who spoke about God's love and doing His will, and I thought I believed in God, but I did not have the experiences they spoke of, yet now, after quite a journey, I have experienced similar experiences too for myself. Fourthly, sometimes language is a barrier that separates people, and by this I mean terminology. As an example, I encountered someone who disagreed with the philosophy many Christians speak of, that one must have self love in order to love others. Jesus said to love your neighbour as you love yourself. The person said he believes this is egotistical. And I realised when I say self love, I mean self esteem, and a sense of identity, and I do disagree with selfish self interest, which is indeed egotistical. An understanding of the meaning behind terminology, and understanding someone's viewpoint, are important to understand the context behind statements and beliefs. Sometimes people argue over a point they actually agree about. Fifthly, sometimes there can never be agreement, but both points are still valid for the individuals, and have merit in their own right. Consider the question of abortion. For many, this is wrong and is murder, but to many other people, who have different ethics, abortion is very necessary, and may sometimes be necessary for the survival of the mother, or both mother and baby might perish. And sometimes, as I wrote in The Three Truths Principle, truth is somewhere in the middle, or is a very different truth.

Know what you stand for. Know what you believe. You will find life gets easier, and you will be like a rock that waves break over, steadfast and sure. And I realise, Jesus is the Rock who now helps me with my life.