Implicit Meaning Versus Explicit Statements

I have realised that people have a tendency to assume a question has been asked, or a request made, when often something has only been implied. This has implications particularly in bullying situations, because often we listen to the implied message, yet no real message has been explicitly stated, making it easy for us to be manipulated.

It is difficult for me to think of real world examples to illustrate what I mean, but a simple example might be, "If I were you I would leave here and not come back". The person who is one the receiving end of this might assume that he or she has been ordered to leave, especially if someone in authority says something like this, but this is only an implied statement. If the person saying this had said instead, "You must leave", then that would be an explicit order. But the initial statement carries an implied meaning only and is akin to manipulation. If you listen to a statement like this, and in this case do leave, then you make the other person's job easy, because the person can refute that he or she ever asked you specifically to leave and you are reading in meaning that was not explicitly stated.

Another simple example of this phenomenon might be if a friend says, "When are you going to that new coffee place that opened?" and you then assume you must invite the person to go for coffee with you to the place mentioned, and perhaps this is what the person might want you to do, but stop and ask yourself, have they actually asked that? Answer the question and do not read more than that into what is being asked. Wait for someone to ask directly, instead of making an assumption. Your assumption could be something the other person was fishing for, but you could also be off the mark and this could lead to embarrassment.

Reading into statements does have some advantages. If someone says, I have a family member who is ill, and then says lets gather together for prayer, the person likely would like prayer for his or her own family member. Try to ask to be sure. But don't blindly assume this is what was meant.

Open and clear communication is best, but make sure you enforce this too from your side, by listening for meaning.