Send That to Me In Writing

I sent off an email to a large company recently, to enquire whether or not they would be interested in stocking my book on their shelves. I received a reply back saying they only deal with specific suppliers, giving me some guidelines, so I wrote back and said I would be able to comply. The next response said to give the person a call and she would explain the purchasing process, and I thought "How wonderful. A possible opportunity." However, I felt quite deflated when I spoke to her, and she effectively said sorry, she was not interested. So why did I have to phone her to hear that? Why didn't she tell me that in an email? I have noticed that people can seem very friendly and polite in written communication, and only show their true selves in person, when their conversation is not subject to any more rigorous means of documentation than memory. Perhaps that is why someone I know insists on most communication taking place in written form, as she can be assured of the sender's politeness?

To look at the opposing viewpoint, consider the emails you send and receive: How do you view your written communication? How do you view emails you receive? Is it conversation, or is it irrefutable proof? I recently heard someone say she was told in an email that she was disliked by another person. But because it is in writing, does that mean it is fact? Was it perhaps taken out of context? And would things have been different if it had only been verbally conveyed? People may say things like this to each other in passing during an argument, and then apologise and make up, and a simple statement is therefore a malleable concept.

Words hurt, whether they are said verbally in person or in email. Consider all your words carefully, as it is not easy to take them back. Trust is built over a long time, but may be dashed in an instant. Yet try to be understanding of mistakes people make, but this is not easy, for example, if you are told by someone he or she has always been suspicious of you, and the person tells you this specific event has now confirmed that suspicion, but apologises a few hours later, will you be able to forget the words said in anger? I have said things I wish I could take back, but I can only move forward. Life is a journey...