A "Black Swan Event" is when the unexpected occurs, causing a huge mindshift and change in how the world works. People never imagined that Black Swans existed, until the discovery of the first Black Swan... (as per book "The Black Swan", by Nassim Nicholas Taleb, 2007, that sold over 3 million copies)

Is a perception change the next Black Swan Event? Consider that by changing perception we might change the world. Look at everyday things from different angles. Find beauty in the unexpected...
Change our thinking, change our actions, change our world!

See that all people are part of God's puzzle and have something to give. Black swans do exist. The ugly duckling was actually a swan who needed to discover himself and where he fitted and be who he was meant to be. To the last, the lost and the least, you are beautiful as you are.
May all who visit this page feel God's touch and experience His blessing...

Friday 31 August 2012

Perception Versus Intention

Imagine you are a student at a school. One morning, whilst your teacher is standing in front of the class talking, you notice a bedraggled looking man wander in. His face is a mass of wrinkles, grey hair shaggy and wavy, glasses askew. He shuffles in, glaring at the ground. His hand darts out from robes of clothes, clutches a piece of chalk, and he starts writing frantically on the blackboard, mumbling quietly to himself. Your lecturer glances around as the class starts laughing, and immediately rushes for the telephone, frantically yet quietly calling for security. The security person arrives and says in a loud voice, "Sir, you need to leave now". The grey haired man turns around with a friendly expression, which soon darkens as he apprises the situation. "Sir, come with me". "But, but..." the visitor  mumbles. Then the visitor yells "Hey, don't grab me!" as security bundles him out the door. You hear his yells fading as he is marched down the corridor and out of the school. And, as just as calm returns to the room, your principal wanders in, says good morning, and asks you to watch out for Albert Einstein, who is visiting the school and who you might be lucky enough to hear explain some complex theories. Your lecturer's face turns red as he rushes out to find the visitor....

Saturday 25 August 2012

The Art of Artificial Relationships

I used to work for a large organisation, and I knew a key part of the job was building relationships. A key relationship was with my manager. Yet I never wanted to invite my manager to have a chat over coffee. Why? Well, I felt this would be schlooping, otherwise known by even less flattering names. I felt I would be compromising my integrity and ideals of accept me as I am, and I am here to get the work done. I felt I could not pretend to be nice just to earn points with my manager. Needless to say, my manager did not take a good view of me seeming to ignore her, when others were building a relationship with her. Yet, were the others using what could amount to good sales techniques to win her favour? Were they being nice to her because she was their manager, or in spite of this?

Tuesday 21 August 2012

Who Do I Write To?

When I write this blog, who do I write to? I write to everyone and I write to individuals. I write to the successful, and I write to the downtrodden. I write to show a pathway to hope. I give these examples: I write to the woman who goes to work day after day, and for her life is a routine. She can barely wake up in the morning, and has to forcibly drag herself out into the cold corridor to get ready for work. Life feels like a blur, and she is thankful she manages to keep going day in and day out, but through her fog she wonders if she will be able to keep going, and desperately wants the roundabout to stop so she can rest. I write to the parents who are trying to force their teenage son to become a medical doctor. He has brilliant academic marks, and all he wants to do is to become an actor and travel the world, but his parents make sure they discourage any thoughts of the stage and drama, and he feels he needs to bow to their increasing pressure and keep slogging away at subjects that hold no interest for him. I write to the people who drift through life not feeling, and not knowing who they are, and where their talents lie. Their self esteem is a factor of acceptance by other people, and it seems wherever they turn they are excluded by a wall of isolation. If only their light of life had been nurtured when first aflame, protected from stormy gales of life's hurts, so it could shine gently and cast a warm glow, and receive sustenance when light was burning low. I write because that was all me. I write to try and show that there is a better alternative; that life is meant to be lived by everyone; that God would not want people to be excluded and hurt by other people; and that God has a plan and a purpose for each person's life. I believe God would want us to be the selves we were always meant to be, free from the enemy's grasp. And I believe that, even when our purpose seems squashed by life and circumstance, God will help give us a better way, if we follow Him and listen to His commands. Like a tree hewn down in a forest, that springs to life unbidden and sends forth new, stronger shoots, so can God give strength to those who turn to Him and ask.

"And there shall come forth a rod out of the stem of Jesse, and a Branch shall grow out of his roots:" (Isaiah 11:1 NIV)

Friday 17 August 2012

Have You Considered You May Be the Face an Organisation or Social Group Is Judged By?

Have you ever been to an organisation and thought, wow, they really care! But often your experience is based on your interaction with one person, for example you feel totally welcomed by the receptionist alone, and she smooths your visit. You have never met her before yet you feel you have personalised attention. She smiles as she greets you and makes sure you have a comfortable chair, or she offers you coffee and asks how your day has been. And have you ever walked away from an organisation thinking you will never be back? Have you considered that often it is an experience with one or two people that has left you feeling this way? Are you perhaps someone who could be responsible for providing either a good or bad experience by customers at the company you work for?

Wednesday 15 August 2012

Are You Placing Limits on Yourself? This Deaf Classical Music Composer Did Not!


Do you sometimes dissuade yourself from something before you have even tried, thinking it is impossible? I know I have. Yet there are examples of people who follow an unlikely path in spite of their own limitations.

I have read of athletes missing legs and arms, yet they run and swim or play football with accomplishment. I have read of musicians who play musical instruments in spite of missing key limbs, for example, a pianist who plays with only one hand, or a one armed drummer. There are blind singers, and singers who sing from wheelchairs. Beethoven lived centuries ago, yet his legacy lives on. He was a classical music composer of German descent who started going deaf later in life, and who eventually lost all ability to hear, yet he continued conducting music, and playing and composing music. How heartbreaking it must have been for Beethoven to lose his hearing! I hearken to these examples, amazed at the spirit of triumph over tragedy.

Tuesday 14 August 2012

Poverty and the Job Hiring Process

I was chatting to someone recently about the job hiring process. She mentioned that she sees many candidates for interviews who are nervous, and she wishes they weren't. And I mused about how selective employers can be in even calling someone in for an interview. Hundreds of resumes (CVs) might be received, and most are immediately excluded because they do not fulfil the basic requirements of the job. And I mentioned how fleeting I think an interview is, and what a terrible basis this is to make a job hiring decision, as people are hired based on the short period of time they have to impress, not necessarily how well the person might perform over a long period of time. Yet, as the person pointed out to me, the main criteria to do well at a job are behavioural skills, and this is what is mainly evident in an interview: is the person friendly, able to manage pressure, able to answer questions posted on the fly? For her, the main character traits that are important are things like team work and building relationship, and technical skills can often be learnt, but behavioural traits can take a long time to acquire and change.

Monday 13 August 2012

What Will This New Day Bring?

I glance out the window. There is a thread of gold beading the grey cloud. It widens, glints, and then the sun shines through, spilling liquid gold. Grey flees in haste as morning celebrates. What will this new wondrous day bring? I could have written: I am sitting here shivering. It is still mostly dark and I have to get up and get the kids ready for school. Do I have to go into the office today? What will I be asked to do today? I am dreading it! Never underestimate the power of your thoughts! There is power in a positive mindset and seeing your world differently.

Sunday 12 August 2012

Is Workplace Bullying a Subtle Form of Domestic Violence?

In domestic violence, abusers will hit their wives, or scream at them and totally try to control them, and then there is a period of making up and life returns to normalcy, and then tensions start to build and the cycle repeats. Usually violence escalates, and the only thing recommended to do is to remove the victim from the situation, if the victim sees the value of doing this, as often there is a large emotional bond and dependence on the abuser.

Getting To Know Me

I've been wondering whether you, my readers, see me in these blog posts, as each article is a tiny snapshot of my thoughts. Yet I still wonder if you know me. You can only know me by what I reveal, and I am judged by what I reveal, and if I disclose differently you might form a different picture of me than what you currently have.

I wrote a post on here called "Rediscovering Me", and then I removed most of it from this blog site, and it is now to be found in my book--I added additional information to it and I hope I haven't made the specific section incredibly boring, but thought I needed to include my own journey. Is there much to tell? Well, I see myself as quite an average person, and there is not much to tell really, but everyone has a story. I did leave some parts of my own story out, to maintain confidentiality for other people, and perhaps someday I may tell the whole story. But I do know too that it is not always necessary to tell everything, and also to leave some discovering for another day. Each time something is written, this becomes additional truth, and the present reality is therefore not always the entire truth, and each additional blog post may reveal additional context and insight. I also believe the person is not as important as the message, and my message, I hope, is that there is a better life for you out there, and you have to discover who you truly are. God bless.

Friday 10 August 2012

Trying Out New (Emotional) Skills

Do you have a driver's license? If so, you must know what it felt like to be a learner driver. Do you remember the first time you took the wheel and drove on the open road? I do, and I remember how uneasy my driving instructor was sitting next to me, especially when a long line of cars formed behind my hesitant, jerky attempts at pulling off at a stop street. How glad I was when I was finally able to pull off in first gear without stalling the car. I am sure I revved the car too much with a heavy foot on the clutch and accelerator, but I know I finally got the car going. Driving is now second nature to me. This is akin to learning most new skills, especially emotional. At first it is difficult, and you may really struggle to transform a skill into an effortless habit. Imagine, for example, if you are someone who has kept your anger suppressed for years. You may have difficulty controlling your anger when it is first unleashed: perhaps you discover anger for the first time in a bullying situation you have previously quietly sat through many times before, and your anger rises out of control, scaring you with its ferocity. It is a new skill you are learning to use. Like the learner driver, you may not know how to "ride" your anger correctly at first and how to keep it within polite social norms. But in time you will learn to feel the anger, but not be controlled by it. You will be able to respond with intellectual thought, whilst keeping any justifiable anger simmering in the background, and be able to keep any thoughts of the bully to yourself, instead of blurting the thoughts out loud and adding ammunition to the bully's assertions about you.

Just as with the above fictional example of learning to use anger, be aware that learning to manage any new skill usually takes time and practice. Be prepared for variances when using new skills, and know you will master them in time. Soon the usage of your new skills will seem like second nature to you.

Wednesday 8 August 2012

Defensiveness Talking

Have you ever sent someone something, for example, your own painting, or a book, or a forwarded email? Then you've wondered, what if the person doesn't like what I've sent? So you send a message saying, you don't have to keep the item, you can give it away or ignore it! And I suspect the other person might then wonder why he or she has been given the item, and did you really want to give it to him, and what is actually wrong with it? Or another example might be if you invite someone to coffee, and then you think she might not want to go with me! So you tell her before you've gone for coffee, and without prompting, that it's okay if you both don't go for coffee, and she might think, perhaps you don't really want to go for coffee, so in turn she says she can't make it. And in these cases your fears are confirmed. But perhaps if you just gave the item away and said nothing further, or if you just let the coffee invite stand, the person might have accepted each positively? Our fears can get in the way and confirm themselves sometime, and this might be due to our defensiveness talking.

Tuesday 7 August 2012

Tipping Point--What's Below the Iceberg?

I wonder sometimes what it takes to get an iceberg to tip over. With icebergs, you see only a tiny amount of the mass of the iceberg, just that little bit sticking out above the water. What is below the point you see? The iceberg mass could be simply huge. Why do I mention this? I look around me at the parts of the world I see. Visible poverty, hungry children, homeless people. Are the poor people I see the tip of the iceberg?

Saturday 4 August 2012

When Ideas Take Flight

I read many things during the course of a day, especially through social media, or in online newspapers, or blogs I may stumble upon. How much of what I read colours the direction of my next thoughts? Do I stop and thank, or acknowledge, everyone who's thoughts I read and then use in different ways?

Thursday 2 August 2012

The Journey Towards the Olympic Games

Have you been watching the Olympic Games? I watch each evening, but I am never sure which events will be screened. A couple of days ago I saw two women British rowers win a gold medal for Britain, the first gold medal British rowers have ever won--a small slice of history in the making--the names of those two rowers will always be down as the first ones, even though there may be many after them.

Each athlete is at the Games after experiencing his or her own individual battles and triumphs. For many, just being at the Olympic Games will be a feat they will always treasure, for others they might wish they had tried that millisecond faster to make the difference between gold and silver, or silver and bronze, or perhaps bronze or losing out on a medal completely. I watch and I see races unfold, but I do not know the journey behind each athlete's appearance and result. I know I am in awe that each individual has reached this amazing point in using their talents.

One athlete who I have been watching at the Olympic Games, as I know something of his hard, yet triumphant journey, is Oscar Pistorius. I have written about him previously on this blog, and you can find his story here: Oscar Pistorius: Blade Runner. He (via his agency) allowed me to use his short story in my book, and did not once ask me for any payment, and I am so grateful to him. I will be watching out for his races this coming weekend, and I am sure many others will be watching him make Olympic history. Oscar, I pray for the best for you in this coming testimony, and God bless your ongoing journey.