Culture as a Form of Self Regulating Management

Imagine the following scenario: You are a single woman who has moved to a new neighbourhood and you visit the local church one morning for a church service, as you miss being part of a regular community of worshippers. You enjoy the praise and worship and the sermon inspires you. This seems to be the church for you! Over the coming weeks, you experience a sense of disquiet as you realise the pastor holds a different view on an important topic and this seems to be very different to the views you have been taught over your many years as a Christian. You schedule a meeting with the Pastor and thoroughly discuss the matter. You feel quite strongly over this matter, as the Bible makes the point quite clear and in your mind you hold no doubt that you are debating on the side of righteousness. The meeting seems to be friendly and you both part with a smile. You are aghast when, in coming weeks, your name is removed from the email list and you don't receive the regular weekly church newsletter. When you put your name down as a volunteer, you don't get a phone call in return, and none of your phone calls or emails are returned. Yet, everyone still seems to be friendly to you when you attend the church. It takes quite a while for you to realise you are not welcome and you leave, devastated, with a psychological injury in the form of trust broken that you feel will never heal. Your only solace is that you did not pursue the matter and you found out about some of the cultural norms before you had invested more time and effort at the church.

The above scenario does happen in real life, but hopefully not too often. I believe an organisation does not need to go to any lengths to exclude other people they feel do not agree with their culture or values, as in the case above. The organisation merely has to stand firm on their values and state their beliefs without wavering. If the Pastor in this case had said, I am sorry if you believe differently, but this is the way our church interprets scripture and we will stand by this, the person who had a question over the matter would probably have dropped the matter, yet perhaps may have continued attending the church and become a valuable contributor in years to come. If, however, the belief held much significance to her and was crucial to her faith, she may have decided to leave of her own volition within a few more weeks to find a church that upheld her beliefs. There was no need to maliciously exclude her and cause damage to her psyche in the process.

If you value your own culture and beliefs, and wish to preserve this, be it on a personal level, an organisation level, or even at a national level, you do not need to exclude people, you only need to state your culture and the values you expect others to have and adhere to, and use this as a drawcard for people. As an example, people who value family time will not work for a company that expects long hours and additional overtime each week. Another example is that people who make a living in a corrupt society are not going to travel to make the most policed country in the world their home. Likewise, if you want a society which follows Christian values, then ensure the society documents the Christian values it stands by, even if everyone does not believe in God, and allow Christians to be openly and unashamedly proud of their faith.

The converse to the story is that this woman  found out the hard way that one cannot easily change the culture of an organisation, especially as she was a stranger needing to find acceptance with an existing group who probably liked things the way they were, and who might have seen her and her ideas as an unwelcome intrusion. Have you ever thought you had found the perfect friend, or ideal spouse, or best place to work for, yet one minor detail niggles, and you think, if only that one thing would change, you would be happy? In most of these cases, you will breach invisible norms and boundaries if you push your point of view. It is fine to make suggestions for change, but don't expect that your suggestions may be followed, or even welcomed, especially in the first few months of a new relationship. As the saying goes, "first seek to understand, then be understood" (St Francis of Assissi).

To be truly happy on an individual level, define your set of personal values, and know what you stand for, your personal set of beliefs, and find people and places and workplaces that align with your values and allow you to be yourself. I believe you will experience a sense of synchronicity and happiness.