I consider myself an extrovert in hiding, and I come across as an introvert. I realise there are no absolutes, but in general my definition of an introvert is someone who does not mingle socially with too many people and who prefers solitude to the social limelight. An introvert may be very friendly and warm, but they might only show their true nature to a select group of people. An extrovert on the other hand I see as someone who loves to socialise with other people, who is energised by the company of other people, and who obtains validation from people. I suspect introverts are more likely to be able to produce artefacts
without external validation and to keep going in the face of opposition, whereas an extrovert may tend to listen more to the opinion of others and stop sooner if they see they are on the wrong track. So, as an extrovert in hiding, I look to people for validation of my writing, but thankfully, my overt introvert nature carries on in spite of silence.
It takes me a long time to learn my lessons sometimes. A long time. Do you know what I mean? Is it the same for you? When I worked for a big organisation, I got quite upset when I sent out ideas or presentations containing my work, and then later found others were using them as their own, with no acknowledgement to me. One specific manager said to me, but what does it matter when he uses your ideas to present to people above him, it's all for the good of the department, and others above him do the same to his ideas. That may be so, but the attention seeking part of me would have liked a small pat on the back or a thank you.
When I set out on my book writing journey, I made a conscious decision
to freely allow access to my thoughts and ideas as articles on this blog, knowing they could be read by anyone, anywhere. Yet when I send parts of my book to people, sometimes the entire book, I still cringe inwardly when I get no feedback, and I wonder if it's because the ideas are pointless, or whether it's because people are spouting my ideas to others as their own without telling of their source of inspiration. That is the nature of books, and especially of education, and I previously mused of when ideas take flight. I have decided this is the way it must be, as God sees all and I write for Him, but my human nature still craves recognition from people. Don't we sometimes assume we are successful only once we hear this from others? Do we sometimes only see the value in something when a group of other people start to take notice?
There are times in my writing journey where I thought of giving up. I thought, what's the use of writing if no one is reading? The important thing of course is that I am writing for my own joy and I am writing because of God. I have only heard from a handful of people since trying to promote my first book. I expected that there would be some people who would come back to me and say my book makes for terrible reading, but generally I have heard deafening silence. People who I had thought would be happy for me, I hear nary a word from, and I am so grateful to the people who I do hear from, or I might have given up, thinking there is no point in my writing. Perhaps I would have carried on regardless, as my writing is a way for me to weave an expression of ideas. My writing is my legacy.
If you are trying to accomplish something, but seem to be getting nowhere, consider that there are many other people who are walking the same journey. You don't know where the journey will lead you, you can only hope you are striving in the right direction. Maybe you will be successful, and maybe you won't, but if you don't try, you will never know what might have been. What will your success look like? Success is an individual journey. You will know when you have found your own success. Don't give up! Success may come from an unexpected angle, and you may close the door if you stop too soon--a door which might be about to lead you along your wondrous path of purpose if only you had waited to see what was waiting around the corner.
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