Scratching the Surface of Friendship

A fictional story: Six months ago, Julie left her sleepy hometown where she had grown up and lived all her life, and moved to a bustling city, to accept an exciting job offer. Since then she has had trouble fitting in and making friends. At first it seemed fun to be new to the area, but now everything still feels slightly out of place, as if she is a constant tourist adrift in a foreign land without a plane ticket home. The job she had thought was the answer to her prayers, has started to feel as if it is a trap and life feels as if it is running away, with early morning rises and too much to do and she feels there must be more to her existence. Please show me the next step, God, she prays.

She sees Irene often outside the classroom where they meet to fetch their children and hopes she has managed to find a new friend. Irene seems to really care about Julie and they have had interesting conversations on a few occasions. Julie has noticed though that Irene always turns down opportunities to meet outside of these brief school meetings. She is always busy when Julie asks, or she promises her a future date for coffee when she has more time.

Julie sometimes says hello to Stacy, another mom. Stacy has a demeanor about her which says stay away, I am not interested in talking to you. She usually arrives at the school in a rush, says a quick hello and stands off to the side with her arms folded, looking down to the ground. Julie has asked Stacy once to a coffee but the answer was a gruff no thanks, and Julie felt as if she shouldn't have asked sees the terse comment as very rude

Julie is surprised one afternoon when Stacy approaches her and has a longer than normal conversation and then asks her if she still wants to have that coffee. A few months later, and after many coffee chats, they are firm friends. Julie is so happy to have met Stacy, who she can now see will be a friend and source of support through good times and tough times.

Julie has yet to have coffee with Irene, though they say hello often. Julie now realises that someone who says no is not necessarily rude, but may be more authentic and honest than someone who pretends to be nice, yet keeps delaying. She still appreciates seeing Irene, but realises the friendship is merely surface deep with no substance.