The Tendency For People To See All Good or All Bad

Imagine you are reading a book and you are enthralled by the story. You love the author's style in crafting a mesmerising, imaginative tale. Partway through the book you encounter a lurid scene about a shocking rape and you immediately put the book down, and don't get to read the tender, heartrending ending.

You meet with a friend for coffee later in the week and she raves about the book and the intriguing ending. 

You stare at her and shake your head saying, how could you read that book? It was awful?

She glances at you, surprised. What was wrong with the book?

Did you read the scene where John raped the young woman? I couldn't read anything after that!

Oh, but that was leading up to the twist at the end and redemption. The author wove triumph out of despair.

Maybe I should read it again, you murmur, but that scene totally spoilt the book for me, though now that I think about it, everything up to that point was wonderful and it was promising to be the best book I have ever read. Maybe I should give the author another chance, you smile bemusedly.

Oh please do, your friend says, her face lighting up, though I have given the plot away!

People seem to have a tendency to magnify wrongs or faults or problems, until they seem bigger than what they are. The same principle holds true for the judgements we hold of others. I suspect we tend to see people as all good or all bad, and finding out someone has a very bad trait sometimes negates the good we might see in the same person. There may, for example, be skeletons hiding away in our past which we hope others don't find out about; I know there are some in my own metaphorical cupboard. Yet, we all have good and bad character traits, and we have all done good or bad things. Some of course have done more bad than others, but this does not mean they can never do good or that there is no good parts to them. Likewise, if you place all your trust in someone who you think is only ever all good, your trust may be shattered when you are let down by the same person.

Try to see all sides to something or a situation or a person before making a one sided judgement. You may be surprised by what you see.